Reduce Dissociation, Embrace the Present

 Dissociation is something that we all experience to different degrees. It's not just you. It happens to most of us from time to time, but with understanding and practice, you can notice it and take steps to reduce dissociation.

What is Dissociation?

Dissociation is a mental process where one disconnects, temporarily or for an extended period of time, from the awareness of their body, surroundings, and/or reality.

Examples of Dissocation

A very common occurrence of dissociation is when you're driving. You might be driving and suddenly, you find yourself on a route that you didn't plan on taking. You might have needed to take a left 10 minutes ago, and realize that you don't remember what you've been doing for the last 10 minutes. 

It might show up when you're having a conversation with someone and they ask you a question, and you realize, "I haven't been listening to anything they’ve been saying. I don’t know how to answer their question." 

Very commonly, it can happen in class or during a meeting. You could be making eye contact with the instructor or speaker, but you realize you have zoned out for the half of the meeting.

Why Do We Dissociate?

Oftentimes, we feel overwhelmed by something that triggers us consciously or subconsciously, and a part of us feels like escaping, almost as if we're leaving our body because the situation is too overwhelming. It can be very subtle things that trigger dissociation. For children who are experiencing trauma, dissociating serves as a vital coping mechanism, and is very important just to mentally survive those moments, especially if trauma is reoccurring. Quite often, those children grow into adults who continue to dissociate, even if the original threats are gone and the environment is safer. There might be triggers like hearing a song or a pattern of talking, a smell, or seeing someone or something that triggers dissociation.

How to Reduce Dissociation

So what can we do when this happens? I'm going to guide you through a grounding exercise where we connect with our body’s senses safely.

The 54321 Grounding Exercise

You can do this exercise anytime and anywhere.

• Take a deep breath in, and exhale. Look around you.

  • Notice five things that you can see around you.

    • I'll begin. I can look out my window. I can see a tree, a house. I can see a couch. I can see a chair. I can see my computer monitor. How about you?

  • Now notice notice four things that are on your body that you can feel with your skin, your muscles.

    • I can feel my shirt. I can feel my hair on my shoulders. I can feel sweat. And I'm wiggling my toes in my socks. How about you?

  • Notice three things you can hear.

    • I can hear my typing. I can hear a clock ticking in the background. I can hear my cat scratching something. How about you? What can you hear?

  • Notice two things you can smell.

    • I can smell my house smell. Every house has a smell. I can bring my hair to my nose and smell my shampoo. What are two things you can smell?

  • Notice one thing you can taste.

    • I can taste the tea I just drank. If you have something to drink, you can drink it and taste it and notice it as it travels down your esophagus into your belly and where you stop feeling it. What can you taste?

Notice how you feel now. You've just connected to all of your body’s senses, which is the opposite of dissociating. Remember, dissociating is as if we're floating outside of our body, and doing this 54321 grounding exercise helps us get back in. You can do this exercise anytime you feel spacey or disconnected.

Practice Being Present in Everyday Moments

There are many practical ways we can practice being present in our bodies. For example, when we are eating a meal. Many of us dissociate when we're eating. We'll be watching a show or on our phones. We might be working while we're eating. I'm suggesting that you really tune into your senses when you eat. Focus on the color of your food. Focus on the smell of your food. How it tastes in your mouth as you're chewing, and noticing your food as you swallow, where it travels until you can't feel it anymore. Notice your belly filling up with food. That's the definition of mindful eating.

Another practical application of being present in your body is showering or bathing. Oftentimes in the shower, we'll be thinking about our day, worries, imagined conversations we're gonna have with our loved ones. But when we're showering, I am encouraging you to be present. Notice the warm water and how it feels on your body. Smell the amazing aromas of your shampoo. Embracing a relaxing scalp massage. Feel the slippery soap on your skin. Hear the calming stream of water. It can be a wonderful sensory experience.

Going for a walk can be very engaging. Looking around you at nature, at buildings, at people, feeling the air on your skin and hair, hearing the sounds around you, smelling the air. If you're in class or in a meeting, connecting to your senses can make learning and interactions more meaningful. Feeling connected to your speaker through eye contact, hearing and processing what they're saying, taking notes with your hands, focusing on what your body is doing. For example, touching the tips of your fingers, having a fidget in your hand to keep your sense of touch engaged, drinking sips of water to keep your sense of taste engaged.

Another way we can reduce dissociation in our everyday life is putting our devices, like phones and laptops, away. I know this is hard. There's a time and a place to be on devices. But when it's unnecessary, it's preventing us from connecting to our bodies. So if you have a break in your day, go for a mindful walk. Connect with the senses outside. If you have a break between classes or meetings, put your phone down and do some stretching on your chair or on your floor. If you have a few minutes, open the window, feel the breeze, or enjoy a warm cup of tea. The more you practice being mindfully present in your everyday moments, you'll find that you'll gradually dissociate less.

How EMDR Therapy Can Help with Dissocation

If you currently are dissociating and you have experienced trauma in childhood or adulthood, EMDR therapy can help. Processing the traumatic memories with EMDR therapy can help the traumatized parts of you work through and release the repressed fear, anger, and sadness that have kept you stuck in dissociative tendencies. By processing the traumas, you’re also processing the underlying triggers of dissociation that these traumatic experiences have caused. Particularly in phases 2 and 7 of EMDR, you will learn and practice calming techniques to feel more calm and safe in your body that you can practice outside of session.

Summary

By addressing the trauma clinically with EMDR therapy, as well as practically with your own daily practices, you may be able to reduce your dissociation symptoms. Dissociation happens to the best of us, and there’s no need to feel like there is something is wrong with you.

If you have questions about dissociation or how EMDR therapy can help, please feel free to send me a message or schedule a free consultation.